Punk #17: Thor Ad text

THE GREATEST ROCK'N'ROLL ALBUM YOU'LL NEVER HEAR

IMPORTANT NEWS ITEM FROM THE STAFF OF PUNK MAGAZINE!

THE THOR ALBUM--RELEASED A LONG TIME AGO--WAS RECENTLY UNCOVERED IN AN ARCHEOLOGICAL DIG CONDUCTED BY DR. JOHN HOMSTROM. WHEN HE INTRODUCED HIS FIND TO THIS COLLEAGUE, THE REV. B. CARLETON, CARLETON DETECTED DIFINITE SIGNS OF BONE-CRUSHING POWERS CAPABLE OF MAKING IT ONE OF THE MOST CARNIVEROUS DINOSAURS OF ITS TIME. SOON THE SPECIMEN WAS EXAMINED BY SPECIAL COMMITTEES. "EUREKA!" THEY PROCLAIMED, "THE EXTINCTION OF THIS ANIMAL WAS CAUSED BY SUFFOCATION! IF THIS MUTATION WERE ALLOWED TO EVOLVE, A RACE OF GIANTS WOULD ARISE. WHAT COULD HAVE KILLED IT?" BUT LIKE THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN, THOR IS OUT THERE... LURKING IN CUT-OUT BINS--WAITING TO WALK THE EARTH AGAIN! WATCH OUT FOR IT! (IF FOUND, PUNK MAGAZINE HEREBY OFFERS A $10.00 REWARD PER COPY! LIMIT ONE PER CUSTOMER; THIS OFFER GOOD TO FIRST FIVE CUSTOMERS ONLY.)

(NOTE: We never got any takers.)